pace maker gone awry.

there's a crack in the wall.
my brain seeps through. 
i see here, now, then, when.
we were us, and they were them.
i miss everyone i've ever
known at the same time.
i care and cared for it all.
the good and the better,
the ugly and the worse.
i've been up, down, inside, and out.
squeezed in between,
and laughed til i said ouch.
tomorrow may never come
and you may cease to exist.
but what would be worst
is that a memory of us,
the last surviving thing
that proves that we were a
categorical, classifiable,
unforgettable, everlasting,
love - could vanish,
poof.
deep into the abyss of the
bolt-shaped cavity
known as my mind.
i inhale, exhale. blink slow, blink fast.
clench my fists, and dig my toes.
i'm alive,
because you live in me.